Saving Connor
by MissKittyFantastico1
Summary: Buffy/Angel cross-over. This is what I think happens after 'Sleep Tight' on Angel. If you were as truamatized as I was by that episode, hopefully this will make it better.
1. Shadows

Title: Saving Connor (ok, not especially creative, but I couldn't think of anything better)  
  
Author: Kat  
  
Distribution: Go ahead, I guess. Just ask first, please.  
  
Feedback: No feedback, no more chapters. Ok, that's a lie, cause I'd keep writing anyway, but it makes me happy. Just don't be nasty, or I'll cry.  
  
Summery: This is what I think happens after 'Sleep Tight', when Holtz takes Connor through a portal to the Quortoth, the darkest of the dark worlds. Can't tell you anything else, I don't want to spoil anything. *G*  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Joss created them And then he messed with their lives and separated soul-mates and tortured them and hurt them and we hate him for what he's done to our beloved characters… Ok, done ranting. For now. Anyway, they're Joss's to hurt if he wants to. And then I write fic to make it all better.  
  
Dedication: For everyone who was traumatized by 'Sleep Tight', who has "May the Powers That Be protect little Connor" written on their IM away messages and scribbled on their notebooks, or who just thinks Angel's been through too much and deserves a little happiness.  
  
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Wesley, bleeding; dying. Angel, moaning in an alley, surrounded by fire. And Connor… she couldn't feel Connor. Oh, God, she couldn't feel Connor. She'd never noticed that she could always sense him before, but now that she couldn't, it was like a gaping hole. "Gru, we have to get back. NOW!"  
  
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Angel rolled over, debating the merits of getting out of the sun. He had been watching it rise for some time now. Funny, it'd been so long since he saw a sunrise; he didn't remember them taking this long. The sun had crept up over the top of the warehouse, exposing first his foot, then his leg, then his other foot to it's burning rays. Soon it would reach his hands, and they would start to burn. He was surprised his feet weren't burning already. They had been in the sun for what felt like hours. They were beginning to hurt, but were a far cry from crispy, and that bothered him. For the millionth time, he snarled at the little voice in his head that told him to get out of the sun, his son needed him. 'Connor's gone!' he told the voice. 'I can't help him now.' The sun was moving too damn slow. He thought of speeding the process, but couldn't quite summon the will to move further out of the shadow in which he had been laying since he watched his world collapse around him the night before. 'I should have done something' he told the annoying voice in his head. He had been arguing with it all night. He idly wondered if this meant he was crazy. Probably. He didn't care. Not that it mattered one way or another. No one would ever have a chance to find out if he was still in his right mind or not, since he would be nothing more than a pile of ash in a few minutes. Or a few decades, the way the sun was currently moving. Did shadows always move so slowly?  
  
No, apparently not, since one had just moved rather rapidly to cover his feet. He looked up in annoyance, game face on. "You're blocking my light!" he snarled at… "Faith?"  
  
The slayer smiled. "You know, I seem to remember you don't tan well, regardless."  
  
Angel growled. "Go away. I don't even care why you're here, just go away."  
  
Faith looked thoughtful. "You know, I could do that. And you'd just lay there until the sun came up, and you'd be a hunk of burning love for a couple of seconds, and then I'd have to tell Buffy I watched her boyfriend die. What's behind door number 2?"  
  
"There is no door number 2. If you don't move, I will." He started to get up, and collapsed as Faith kicked him in the temple. She grimaced as she dragged him into the warehouse. "I'll move."  
  
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Gru was worried. The last coherent thing his princess had said to him was that they had to get back to LA. He managed to get her back to the bus station they had stopped at when they arrived, but he wasn't sure what to do after that. Cordelia wasn't much help. All she would do was stare into space and mutter about somebody being gone. Gru wasn't even sure she knew he was there.  
  
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When Angel woke up, he was chained to a support beam. No way was he going anywhere anytime soon. He roared his displeasure to the Powers That Be. How could they allow this to happen? Why hadn't he been allowed to die for his son? Why couldn't he have saved him? Connor was a miracle; he never should have existed. How could the Powers allow him to be born, and then let him die? Was it a cruel, twisted cosmic joke at his expense? Give him a son, let him love him, then take him away. Angel's tears ran hot and fast as he sobbed, still in game face. A vampire crying; surely not a common sight, but he was in too much pain to shift to human form, and in too much pain to hold back the tears.  
  
Faith ached for him, as she watched from the shadows. Tears in those golden eyes, eyes that were somehow even more soulful than his human brown; what in hell could have caused this? He'd waited for sunrise once before, but even then, she didn't think he had wanted it this much, only felt that it was right. This time, he had wanted to burn. And she burned too, burned with the desire to beat whomever had done this to him to a bloody living pulp. She shuddered as the desire to hurt rose within her, a desire she had thought conquered forever. And she knew. She couldn't help him. Much as she wanted to, there was nothing more she could do but watch him and hope Buffy came soon.  
  
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Tara sat on the bus beside Buffy, wanting to ask, but unsure whether that would set her friend off again. She had answered the phone to hear only silence at the other end, and then only his name, over and over and over… She was still sitting on the floor next to the receiver she'd eventually dropped when Tara got to her house and let herself in. She'd been stunned by the pain and fear in Buffy's face. It warred with the emptiness Tara could sense inside, the shock that had driven everything else away. After an hour of soothing incense and coaxing, Buffy had calmed down enough to explain what had happened. Briefly. Faith called. Angel needed her. The next bus to LA was in half an hour (by that time, they had missed it and had to wait another hour). And she wanted Tara to come along.  
  
Tara wasn't sure why she was wanted, but the pleading look in Buffy's half-wild eyes made her decision for her. She had to go, if only to look after Buffy. The Slayer who was always so strong was teetering on the brink of collapse, and, although she seemed to be more in control now, Tara dreaded the horrible emptiness that had consumed her friend when she had first arrived. So, she called Willow to let her know what was going on, threw a couple of Buffy's things as well as her own in a suitcase, and took Buffy to the bus stop. She didn't know what could possibly have happened to leave Buffy so… blank. Yes, that was it. It was like there was nothing there to feel the emotions Tara knew were trying to overwhelm her. What she felt when she walked in the door; it was almost as if Buffy wasn't there at all. As if her soul had gone elsewhere, fleeing the pain and fear. Whatever it was, Tara was almost glad she didn't know about it. Someone had to be functional, and if whatever had happened had brought Buffy to this… Tara wasn't sure she could handle knowing. 


	2. Gathering

Title: Saving Connor  
  
Author: Kat  
  
Distribution: Go ahead, I guess. Just ask first, please.  
  
Feedback: No feedback, no more chapters. Ok, that's a lie, cause I'd keep writing anyway, but it makes me happy. Just don't be nasty, or I'll cry.  
  
Summery: This is what I think happens after 'Sleep Tight', when Holtz takes Connor through a portal to the Quortoth, the darkest of the dark worlds. Can't tell you anything else, I don't want to spoil anything. *G*  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Joss created them And then he messed with their lives and separated soul-mates and tortured them and hurt them and we hate him for what he's done to our beloved characters… Ok, done ranting. For now. Anyway, they're Joss's to hurt if he wants to. And then I write fic to make it all better.  
  
Dedication: For everyone who was traumatized by 'Sleep Tight', who has "May the Powers That Be protect little Connor" written on their IM away messages and scribbled on their notebooks, or who just thinks Angel's been through too much and deserves a little happiness.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Gru sat on the bus, Cordelia asleep by his side. She had never stopped staring into space and murmuring, "gone, gone, gone, gone…" She looked so desolate, but nothing he did could even make her acknowledge his presence, let alone comfort her. He had finally drugged her to get her to sleep. In Pilea, sleep was considered to be a great aid in healing. And whatever ailed his princess, Gru wanted her to be better very, very soon. The bus was nearing LA, and he didn't understand the method of payment they used in this world.  
  
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Angel awoke with a start, disoriented. He took in the warehouse with a confused grimace and tried to get up. He heard his chains rattle, and memory came flooding back. Faith. Sunlight. Connor. Connor being carried by Holtz into the darkest of the dark worlds. Himself, leaping after his son, and being thrown back by a bolt of lightning from the hole between worlds. Lying dazed as the portal closed on his son and the man who had stolen him away. Angel collapsed, moaning. He had been hoping so much it had all been a dream. The slamming of a door jolted him momentarily out of his misery. He sunk back when he saw Faith. "You should have let me die."  
  
The Slayer just grinned at him. "Now, when have I ever done the right thing?" Her cocky attitude annoyed Angel. Funny, whenever he'd seen her before, he'd been able to ignore it and see the fear and self-doubt it masked. But he didn't have the will to look beyond it now. "I have to go out for a while. Be a good boy and don't go anywhere until I come back."  
  
Angel scowled at her. "It isn't as if I've got much of a choice."  
  
Faith shrugged. "Well, if I left you one, you'd just go finding some way to rid the world of your miserable self. I just swept this place. Can't have you making little piles of dust."  
  
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Tara looked around the bus stop, unsure of what to do next. She'd never been to LA, and she wasn't sure Buffy was up to navigation right now. At least when Tara talked to her, Buffy would look *at* her instead of *past* her. That was a big improvement over the wait at the bus stop in Sunnydale. Although the pain in her friend's eyes almost made Tara wish she were still distant. That pain was terrifying in its intensity and had the disconcerting tendency to spread to whoever was close by. At least if the person close by happened to be a Sensitive. Tara had all she could do to keep herself from being pulled into Buffy's pain and getting lost in it. If they were going to get anything accomplished, Tara had to concentrate on keeping herself focused. So, she reluctantly sent Buffy to sit on a bench, where her proximity wasn't so dangerous. Meanwhile, Tara attempted lucklessly to stop a cab. Evidently, this was a feat which was much more complicated than it looked in the movies.  
  
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Willow was getting exasperated. She'd called a meeting of what was left of the Scoobies, in hopes that they could come up with a plan of how best to handle patrol, etc. with Buffy gone. So far, all they had come up with was worry and griping. The griping was Anya, who loudly wanted to know why there had to be a crisis three days before her wedding. The worrying was mostly, or at least most vocally, Dawn, who never dealt well with Buffy being absent for any reason anymore. Xander was broody enough that she would have accused him of impersonating Angel if she thought levity were remotely appropriate, and she was nearing the end of her patience. "Guys! We have to come up with a way to help Buffy! That's what we do, remember? We help Buffy? Fight evil? Save the world? Sound familiar?"  
  
Anya fidgeted. "Can't we save the world after the wedding? When Xander will be on our honeymoon, with me, and therefore not in danger."  
  
Xander sighed. "Anya…"  
  
"Was she really freaked out?" Dawn inquired. "Cause last time she really freaked out, you had to go into her mind after her and make her come out. You can't do that anymore. What if she never comes out?"  
  
Willow closed her eyes and prayed for patience.  
  
"…non-refundable down payment on the reception hall…"  
  
"…we've talked about this. Helping Buffy is the most important…"  
  
"…trapped in her mind. I can't loose her again…"  
  
Willow gave up and wearily rested her head on her hands.  
  
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Faith was relieved to find someone waiting for her when she got to the bus stop. She'd expected them to be long gone, and searching LA for a lone, lost-looking blonde girl was a loosing proposition. She winced when she recognized the girl she had been so cruel to the night she partied in Buffy's body. There were so many things in her past that she wished she could take back. The least she could do would be to remember her name. Tina? Tamara? It seemed like a lifetime ago.  
  
"Faith? You're Faith, right?" The girl looked nervous. "You probably don't remember me; we only met briefly, and you were…"  
  
"Horrible to you. I remember. I hurt so many people." Faith was surprised at the pang of guilt and self-loathing she felt for what she had done that night. She thought she had worked through all that. "Did you bring…"  
  
"Tara?" Buffy's voice answered Faith's question. Two questions, actually; Tara! That was it!  
  
Faith surveyed Buffy's defeated expression; her vacant stare. "Wow, she took it hard. You here in a supervisory capacity?" She was kind of curious about the presence of the other girl. She'd figured Buffy would come alone.  
  
Tara nodded. "She asked me to come. Now that you're here, I can go…" She seemed uncertain, and her nervous glance at the passing traffic gave Faith a clue why.  
  
"Never been in a big city before?" The blond shook her head, eyes wide as, horn blaring, a mustang narrowly managed to cross three lanes of traffic in a matter of seconds to turn right. Faith just grinned. "You'll get used to it. Go collect her," indicating Buffy. "I'll grab us a ride."  
  
And Tara stared in fascination as Faith calmly stepped into traffic and stood waiting as a taxi screeched to a halt about an inch from her. No wonder the movies didn't show how it was really done. 


	3. Soul Calls to Soul

Title: Saving Connor  
  
Author: Kat  
  
Distribution: Go ahead, I guess. Just ask first, please.  
  
Feedback: No feedback, no more chapters. Ok, that's a lie, cause I'd keep writing anyway, but it makes me happy. Just don't be nasty, or I'll cry.  
  
Summery: This is what I think happens after 'Sleep Tight', when Holtz takes Connor through a portal to the Quortoth, the darkest of the dark worlds. Can't tell you anything else, I don't want to spoil anything. *G*  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Joss created them And then he messed with their lives and separated soul-mates and tortured them and hurt them and we hate him for what he's done to our beloved characters… Ok, done ranting. For now. Anyway, they're Joss's to hurt if he wants to. And then I write fic to make it all better.  
  
Author's Note: I just wanted to let everyone who read this when the first two chapters were posted in the wrong order know; it's not supposed to be like that. That was the first time I'd posted more than one chapter, and I was still figuring it out. Hopefully, now that I am a veteran new-chapter- poster with one crisis under my belt, I will be able to get this one up where it's supposed to be the first time. ::fingers crossed:: Just in case- this is chapter 3.  
  
Dedication: For everyone who was traumatized by 'Sleep Tight', who has "May the Powers That Be protect little Connor" written on their IM away messages and scribbled on their notebooks, or who just thinks Angel's been through too much and deserves a little happiness.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Angel had finally decided how he was going to deal with the indignity of being chained up in a warehouse instead of being allowed to die peacefully, alone with his misery. He was going to sulk. Although he had thought of a good comeback for Faith's parting quip almost as soon as the door closed behind her, he was not going to use it. His misery-numbed brain had latched onto the age-old hope that if he ignored her, maybe she would go away. He could probably die of starvation after a while. Or maybe a meteor would come crashing through the ceiling and crush him. Or maybe there would be a fire. Or maybe… his melancholy would be interrupted by an annoyingly cheerful Slayer. He refused to look up when he heard her come in.  
  
"Hi, honey, I'm home!" Faith sang out. "And I brought you a present."  
  
Angel refused to be bribed into acknowledging her presence. He stared determinedly at a crack in the floor, ignoring her as she bated him. He wouldn't give in. She was trying to make him look up, but he wouldn't let her have that satisfaction. She had no control over him.  
  
"Angel!" Faith was right beside him now. "Look at me!"  
  
'No, never!' Angel thought gleefully, almost childishly. 'You can't make me. You have no control!' He was dimly aware of Faith talking to him, but he was sliding rapidly away into his misery, humiliation, and determination to wrest some vestige of power from his captor.  
  
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Faith finally lost her temper. She had left Buffy in the cab, figuring it would be better for both former lovers if they were brought together with full knowledge of the other's presence. And when one of them didn't have to be chained to a beam. But first she had to get Angel to listen to her long enough to tell him Buffy was here. And she was out of things to say. So she stopped talking. She calmly took off her cross and laid it on the back of Angel's neck.  
  
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Buffy moved for the first time since climbing, in a zombie-like daze, into the cab. She had been as preoccupied as she was on the bus all the way to the warehouse, and hadn't given any indication that she heard when Faith said she was going to get Angel. Now, in a matter of seconds, she was out of the cab, across the alley, and tearing open the door to the warehouse, all before Tara had a chance to recover from the soul-rending cry of pain that had pierced both the air and her mental shields.  
  
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Angel thrashed like a furious animal as the cross burned his skin. Resolve not to look up forgotten, indeed, most of his thoughts and memories forgotten as his battered and weary human soul yielded control to the demon within, he growled at the girl who dared pile added hurts on top of the pain of losing Connor.  
  
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Faith stepped back out of range as Angel lunged at her, wild-eyed and snarling. She smiled sardonically as she refastened her cross around her neck. Well, she'd wanted him to look at her. He was certainly looking at her now. Good thing he was chained; she had never seen Angelus, but this was certainly not Angel. Not even at his most moody and snappish. Well, whoever he was, she had his full attention. Hopefully Angel wasn't buried too deeply to comprehend what she was telling him.  
  
She had gotten only a few words out before the wildness died and he was obviously Angel again, his pain filled face looking up at her. His mouth worked, and eventually he managed to form a single word. "Buffy."  
  
****************************************  
  
She appeared in the doorway, searching frantically for him in the darkness of the warehouse with eyes that had not had time to adjust to the gloom. Angel came back to himself with a start, and immediately wished to be able to distance himself again. This was too much. There was no need for the Powers to torture him like this. He had been their faithful servant for years, jumping when they said "jump," going where they asked him to go, doing what they asked him to do. Then they took his son from him. Then they refused to let him burn and end the sorrow. Then they brought in an apparition of his love to torment him. That was just too much. But the apparition had seen him at last and was running towards him.  
  
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Tara made it to the warehouse just in time to see Buffy launch herself at Faith. She quickly gestured and a wall of energy sprang up between the two. "Teilung!" Buffy hit the barrier, which gave to absorb the energy of her charge, and bounced softly off onto the ground. Faith, who had turned at Tara's shout, had been too stunned by the suddenness of Buffy's attack to do more than gape at the approaching girl. Buffy, her momentum broken, seemed pretty stunned herself.  
  
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The first thing that had penetrated Buffy's numb brain since she had answered the phone and heard Faith's voice on the other end, telling her Angel needed her, was the sight of him, in chains. With Faith standing calmly talking to him. Add that to the scream that had tugged at her soul, and she had just reacted. Now, as she lay on the cold concrete floor of the warehouse, other memories began to drift back. Faith saying he'd been waiting for the sunrise when she found him. That she'd had to chain him up to keep him alive. Buffy hazily conceded that she should probably apologize. But with the realization that her attack on Faith was unwarranted had come another realization. She rolled over and climbed wearily to her feet.  
  
The whole world seemed to move in slow motion as she turned to face him. Angel's eyes held disbelief, the look of one who has been through so much pain, he can no longer hope that anything he wants to be real is not just one more cruel trick of the gods. Her heart broke for him; she wanted to go to him, to hold him and soothe away his pain. But she couldn't seem to move. And as she stared into his lost, hopeless eyes, they began to change. Some of the fierceness faded, and she could see her Angel there now, not just a wild, desperate man with nothing left to cling to. She could be his anchor now. Her beloved's lips moved, sounded her name, barely audible even to her. And then the crucial moment was past and she could move, and he was in her arms, sobbing. She knew there were things he hadn't told her, things she could hardly believe he'd done, and she pushed aside the rage that rose in her at the thought. Anger could come later. Right now, her soul's other half was in unbearable pain. She would help him through it. And she would HURT the bastards who had done this to him! 


End file.
